Friday, December 09, 2005
This joke I have recieved in mail mail. It's a commercial Love letter.
Dear,FAIR & LOVELY (Ek Tukda Chand Ka),
You are my TVS SCOOTY (First Love) and my AIWA (Pure Passion). I am always BPL (Believe in the Best) and you are SANSUI (Better Than The Best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (DeliveringMillion Smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously Fresh) feeling for me. As you know I am REYMOND (The Complete Man) for you, I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough)but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and my ambitionlike BRISTOL (I get, what I want) rest of our family members are prettyKELVINATORS (The Coolest Ones). If they will say no, we will run awayand marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). In our marriage SAMSUNG(Everyone's Invited). >Our parents will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhirese lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).Trust in theGod who's always NOKIA (Connecting People) who love each other. Andwe are WILLS (Made For >Each Other). Now that HYUNDAI (We are Listening) thesong of love, you >must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real Taste ofLife), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun Fast Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable) So never forget me. Ok bye I wrote little but PEPSI (ye dil maange more).
LG (Digitally yours),
====================================================================
What am I?
THIS USEFUL TOOL, IS COMMONLY FOUND IN THE RANGE OF 7 INCHES LONG. THE FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES. IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION. IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND A SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS. ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS. WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, STICKY WHITE SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND SOME FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT. AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMANATING, IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY FOR YET ANOTHER BIT OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.
W H A T A M I ? ? ? ?
AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN...
TOOTHBRUSH
====================================================================
Mongolian VD
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says,"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis." The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!"
The doctors replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease."
The guys says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way - No need to operate!"
"Oh thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes!" says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself.
Dear,FAIR & LOVELY (Ek Tukda Chand Ka),
You are my TVS SCOOTY (First Love) and my AIWA (Pure Passion). I am always BPL (Believe in the Best) and you are SANSUI (Better Than The Best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (DeliveringMillion Smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously Fresh) feeling for me. As you know I am REYMOND (The Complete Man) for you, I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough)but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and my ambitionlike BRISTOL (I get, what I want) rest of our family members are prettyKELVINATORS (The Coolest Ones). If they will say no, we will run awayand marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). In our marriage SAMSUNG(Everyone's Invited). >Our parents will feel MIRINDA (zor ka jhatka dhirese lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (jo chahe ho jaye).Trust in theGod who's always NOKIA (Connecting People) who love each other. Andwe are WILLS (Made For >Each Other). Now that HYUNDAI (We are Listening) thesong of love, you >must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real Taste ofLife), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun Fast Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable) So never forget me. Ok bye I wrote little but PEPSI (ye dil maange more).
LG (Digitally yours),
====================================================================
What am I?
THIS USEFUL TOOL, IS COMMONLY FOUND IN THE RANGE OF 7 INCHES LONG. THE FUNCTIONING OF WHICH IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES. IS USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION. IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND A SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, IT IS INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHERE IT IS THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS. ANYONE FOUND LISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZE THE RHYTHMIC, PULSING SOUND, RESULTING FROM THE WELL LUBRICATED MOVEMENTS. WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVES BEHIND A JUICY, FROTHY, STICKY WHITE SUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILL NEED CLEANING FROM THE OUTER SURFACES OF THE OPENING AND SOME FROM ITS LONG GLISTENING SHAFT. AFTER EVERYTHING IS DONE AND THE FLOWING AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS HAVE CEASED EMANATING, IT IS RETURNED TO ITS FREELY HANGING STATE OF REST, READY FOR YET ANOTHER BIT OF ACTION, HOPEFULLY REACHING ITS BRISTLING CLIMAX TWICE OR THREE TIMES A DAY, BUT OFTEN MUCH LESS.
W H A T A M I ? ? ? ?
AS YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY GUESSED, THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE IS NONE OTHER THAN YOUR VERY OWN...
TOOTHBRUSH
====================================================================
Mongolian VD
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says,"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis." The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!"
The doctors replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease."
The guys says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way - No need to operate!"
"Oh thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes!" says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself.
