Friday, December 16, 2005
Brian was startled to see the nonchalant way Chris was taking the fact that his lady love was seen with another man.
"You said you love her and yet you saw her with another man and you didn't knock the guy down?"
"I'm waiting," Chris said.
"Waiting for what?"
"Waiting to catch her with a smaller fellow."
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When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities
- she is an economist in the kitchen,
an aristocrat in the living room
and a devil in the bedroom.
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order
- she is an aristocrat in the kitchen,
a devil in the living room
and an economist in bed.
============================================================
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said, "Big deal. That's just like my husband's penis."
"You mean he's got one that long?" asked the surprised mortician.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
============================================================
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.
After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
============================================================
Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her,
"Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent."
"Oh, Papa," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving mother."
"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed Mr. Jones. "You just take her with you."
"You said you love her and yet you saw her with another man and you didn't knock the guy down?"
"I'm waiting," Chris said.
"Waiting for what?"
"Waiting to catch her with a smaller fellow."
============================================================
When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities
- she is an economist in the kitchen,
an aristocrat in the living room
and a devil in the bedroom.
After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order
- she is an aristocrat in the kitchen,
a devil in the living room
and an economist in bed.
============================================================
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said, "Big deal. That's just like my husband's penis."
"You mean he's got one that long?" asked the surprised mortician.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
============================================================
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.
After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
============================================================
Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her,
"Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent."
"Oh, Papa," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving mother."
"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed Mr. Jones. "You just take her with you."
